With Great Responsibility Comes....cookies?

I've been asked by a couple of friends that they would appreciate my helping their new baby to learn English.

Since I obviously take great honor being tasked such a position of responsibility I felt it necessary to plan ahead for his first lesson next month (he's only a few weeks old, but hey, why not start early?)

So I have started to compile a list of phrases I feel he should know:

"Cookies"

"I didn't do it!"

"Dad said I could do it"

"Of course I carried out a risk assessment"

"Why thank you, I'll have a Jack Daniels"

"Cure me you idiot"

"Did you try switching it off and back on again"

I'm sure I'll think of others.