Doris' Diary

Although we have still not reached Weatherby, Boris and I have travelled and seen things you wouldn't believe. Cyrodill is a far more beautiful, and dangerous, place than I had realised.

The Oblivion crisis is over, it would seem. Whilst we knew Zauna was somehow involved in closing the gates, and knew she was something of a hero to the people of Kvatch, it is only now that I have realised just how vital she was to our victory. She left us a couple of weeks ago at the house in Skingrad. A nice place, paid for from her adventuring as a retirement home. She seems to feel the need to keep things on display, perhaps she grew up with very little of her own, and likes to remind herself how things have changed for her. Anyway, she has left on her own a few times before, usually for no more than a day or two at the most. This time she was gone for nearly two weeks. We had begun to worry, but she turned up. Somehow she was different than before. Darker.

I didn't find out until later that she had been part of a plan to destroy the great gate outside Bruma, and went on to Imperial City where she fought side-by-side with Chancellor Ottoca and Emperor Martin before Akatosh materialised and saved everyone.

We've seen the dragon statue in the Temple District, and find it hard to believe anyone there survived at all. The statue of Zauna in Bruma (take a look if you go there, it's near the north gate) has really captured her likeness.

Oh, I forgot to add - we have a new member to our little group. After Zauna's success in the Arena to become Grand Champion, there's this fan who seems to adore her. However, he's a complete pain in the backside. Always jumping around fawning after her and generally getting in the way. He's a total coward as well, and runs away at the first sign of trouble. Instead of telling him to beat it, Zauna seems intent on letting him stay. She loses her temper with him occasionally, and thumps him if he gets in the way. Doris and I are plotting on ways to get him into trouble - watching him jump into lava or waving his torch around in a cave to act as a decoy to the monsters inside. It keeps our spirits up.

Weatherby still awaits us, but Zauna has said it is not far now.

Oblivion - Those who are about to die salute you!

Well, Zauna's progress has been ever going onwards and upwards, literally so with the Oblivion Gates opening up all over the shop. Several have now been closed, however not without incident.

Boris and Doris managed to get lost in one of the Oblivion Planes I visited. On popping out of a door to find that the narrow bridge ahead had not been lowered, it transpired that the lads had been placed where the bridge wasn't, if you see what I mean. Cue hysterical laughter as the two of them spend a moment frozen in mid air, cartoon like, before gravity remembers they are there and they drop several hundred feet. I didn't seem them again until leaving that plane, but I suspect they had great fun running around on lava and getting to know the various beasties wandering around. I think it does them good to go out on their own every now and then! Fans will be glad to hear that they turned up after the gate was closed looking rather sheepish. And strangely silent about the whole affair. Since then, jokes about looking before you leap have not gone down well.

Another gate of note was the Bruma gate, where the local constabulary are all up for taking out the gate, but need to know how to do it. If you have an Oblivion Gate problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Zauna-Team. Of course, the foray into the Plane had a terminal effect on most of the City Guards (apart from their invincible leader) Any allegations that the guards were killed by Blue-on-Blue friendly fire are untrue. It's not my fault the two magical staffs, one with an area-effect fireball and the other target-only, look identical. These things should be more carefully labelled so that mistakes aren't made in the heat of battle (no pun intended). Anyway, the people of Bruma seemed to be impressed, even if the official investigation into the incident continues. In Zauna's favour, however, is the fact that of the three surviving witnesses, two won't find their way home if they say anything and the third was unconscious after being clobbered by the Storm-atrach that was the real intended target of the giant ball of fire.

After those little jaunts, Zauna took a little R&R in Imperial City, and ended up as Grand Champion of the Arena in a little over two days. It would seem that starting these 'quests' at level 20 makes the whole thing a little easier - especially if you have a Paralysis-enchanted Wizards Staff. Yes, that's right. The gates go up, and the combatant runs towards you. One blast from the staff later, and they are on the floor. Finishing them off is then relatively easy (if a little one-sided). Of course, you can be given a nasty surprise by those that have some immunity to paralysis...

So Zauna (or Dragonheart as her fans call her) is now Grand Champion, and even has her own Adoring Fan. He's been tentatively christened Onion-head due to his hair-do, but I'll try and come up with something more catchy later. In the mean time, the little runts enthusiasm to lick clean my boots or give a back rub is going to get to me soon. I haven't the heart to send him on his way, as the scope for fun in devising ways to ...er... bump him off is too tempting (coming soon to this Blog! - a new miniseries titled Killing Onion-Head!). Yes, he's as un-killable as Boris and Doris! Alas, unlike the Thompson Twins, Onion-Head really is a complete wuss and runs at the first sign of trouble. However, since he insists on carrying a torch as soon as it gets dark, he makes a great decoy when exploring underground - any monster in the area sees the light and attacks on sight. Since Onion-Head's instinct is to run, and the monster's is to chase, it is therefore easy to wait for it to pass, then turn around and hit it in the back. Hey, it's not dishonourable to stab evil things in the back.

Along with a couple more completed side-quests, Zauna has also invested in the largest house available to buy. The manor in Skingrad is very nice, with the bonus of a hidden treasure in the basement. Expensive to add all the furnishings, however, which has led to an unexplained run of burglaries in the neighbourhood, starting with the weapons shop next door with the adjoining balcony. Damn cat burglars. A word to the wise, however; don't assume every house is going to be populated by one or two sleeping people at two in the morning. The house opposite the manor was full of undead! Not the sort of thing you want to meet when sneaking around without your armour on. There really should be a law against that sort of thing. Someone could get hurt.

The adventures continue...

Oblivion - Dear Diary

Dear journal,

Well, I thought that this journal entry would have been written in our home, Weatherby, but alas that was not to be.

Whilst Reynald and I were thrilled to be re-united, and further rejoiced at thinking Zauna would take us to our home, my enthusiasm is beginning to wane.

I am not sure Zauna knows where she is going.

I would not say a bad word against her; she is of a brave heart, and will make an effective and honourable Knight (assuming people can overlook her insistence of looting every monster corpse we come across). Also, she seems to be unable to remember names very well. She persists in referring to us as Boris and Doris, with no consistency applied to which of us is which. Sometimes she refers to us as Molly and Polly, and at other times as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. So strange.

She also has no ability at all when it comes to reading a map. She clearly has Weatherby marked on there, and yet we have been travelling for nearly two months and we haven't reached it yet. We've been from Bruma to Anvil to Leyawiin and back. We even ended up in an Oblivion plane at one point. From what we can piece together, she is on some sort of quest vital to the Empire, but what this may be escapes me.

She also seems to disappear at times. There have been times and places when I know Zauna had to have been with us, and yet I cannot remember her being there. Instead, I recall a figure in a grey mask.

One benefit both Renald and I have found is that our fighting skills are increasing! Whilst I was always keen to avoid combat wherever possible (and hence why we asked Zauna to kill the trolls at Weatherby for us) in these dangerous times it has been necessary to defend ourselves, and aid Zauna in exterminating the evil creatures that threaten our Empire.

Well, I must end this journal entry here. Zauna is sure the way to Weatherby lies to our west (an area I am sure we covered last week. Or the week before). Still, I have to trust that she will take us there soon.

Germain.

Nervous? Moi?

Picture the scene. You're at home alone. You are in a darkened room playing Oblivion. Specifically, creeping around catacombs stalking vampires. They sneak better than you do. It's quiet. You are concentrating on the corner of the tunnel ahead, knowing there is something around it.

Suddenly, from behind you you hear "meow".

Not good for the nerves.

Blasted Microsoft Office Assistants ...

Oblivion - Boris and Doris Pest Control

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Oblivion - A day out with Boris and Doris

This is how it happened. Honest.

Zauna picked up the quest "Separated at Birth", which deals with identical twins living in different cities.

Once reunited, they tell of their farm and how they don't know where it is. So they ask you to find it for them. Being the kind hearted soul she is, Zauna wanders around town until she bumps into a retired adventurer who knows where it is. Great. So off to the farm we go. On arriving at the farm, yes, it's indeed there, so back to the brothers to tell them.

"Are the Ogres still there?" the sober one asks.
"How the hell should I know, I didn't hang around to find out," Zauna replies. "And what do you mean, ogres?"
"Could you find out for us?" the wimp asks. "Oh, didn't we tell you? Ogres killed our family - that was how we were separated."
"Thanks for giving me all the relevant intel, you prat. I could have been killed. But, sure, I'll do it. It's not like I have not anything better to do", Zauna says.

So back to the farm she goes. And Lo! There are ogres. Three of them. Time to report back to base. I'm not being paid enough to fight them, Zauna thinks.

By now the brothers are easy to tell apart, and not being too hot with names, Zauna has come to think of them as Boris and Doris. Boris is the one who goes "Duh...better talk to Doris". Doris is the one who can count past ten without removing a sock.

"We're idiots who can't handle a sword. Please go and kill the ogres!" Doris pleads. Zauna should have seen this coming. Boris walks into a wall, arguing with himself.
"But you have a warhammer strapped to your back, and Boris has a broadsword. Oh, he's fallen asleep again."
"We're idiots who can't fight. Please go and kill the ogres!" Boris didn't seem to hear her.

Back at the farm, and the ogres are dispatched. Hey, Zauna didn't say she couldn't handle them, just that she wasn't being paid enough to. Speaking of which, a quick check of the house itself shows that there isn't anything of value there. Ah well. The place is definitely a fixer-upper, and they are going to have to do something about the remains of the dead family before painting.

Boris and Doris are ecstatic at the news of being able to live in their old shack.
"I'm so happy to be able to go back to our family home!" Boris grunts.
"Take us there!" Doris asks.
"Can't I just give you directions?" Zauna asks.
"We're idio-" Doris starts.
"I get the idea," Zauna snaps at him.

Zauna turns and walks out of the inn where the brothers seem to spend all their time. This explains Boris' behaviour, as this was where he was originally found.

Turning around to get her bearings, Zauna jumps. Boris is gurning over her shoulder. "I'm so happy to be going back to our family home!"
"Doris, keep your pet away from me - GRAH!" she jumps - Doris is looming over her other shoulder.
"Is it safe to continue?" Doris asks.
"Not if you make me jump like that again, it won't be." Zauna replies.
"Just minute...are you guys going to follow me around like this everywhere I go?" she asks.
"I'm so happy to be going back to our family home!" Boris says.
"Is it safe to continue?" Doris says.

I think: They're going to follow me everywhere. They are NPCs related to a quest and so probably can't be killed. This might be useful. I save the game.

"Lads, I just want to visit that haunted ship in the harbour. Come along." Zauna decides.
"I'm so happy to be going back to our family home!" Boris says.
"Is it safe to continue?" Doris says.
"We'll see..." Zauna says.

Zauna, Dumb and Dumber creep into the ship. Using her "Detect Life" spell, there she locates two ghosts through the door to the left, and two through the door to the right. We'll go left first - three against two should be easy odds, even if they are crap at fighting, Zauna thinks as she draws he sword. "Okay boys, here's the plan. We'll go through the left door first - AND WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU BOTH GOING?!!"
Doris has taken his warhammer from his back and opened the door on the right. Boris has pulled out his mighty weapon and gone left.

Not the brightest tacticians, these boys.

Zauna dives through the left door to support Boris. Thankfully, it was his broadsword he pulled out, and he's quite happily hacking away at a ghost. The other ghost has already been dispatched. Usually ghosts aren't harmed by non-silver or non-magical blades. Interesting. Zauna lobs a fireball at the ghost, but clips Boris. "Whoops. My bad!" The second fireball finds it's mark and finishes off the ghost.

There's a scream, and a message that Doris is unconscious is displayed. Not good. Maybe they can die after all.

Running back through to the other room where Doris went, one ghost is down alongside Doris. The second is cackling in the corner. Boris charges in, and the ghost moves to meet him. Before the ghost can be killed, however, Boris gets back to his feet and clonks the ghost on the back of the head whilst it isn't looking.

"Nice job, boys. So you can both fight after all." Zauna says as she rifles through the storage trunks.
"I'm so happy to be going back to our family home!" Boris says.
"Is it safe to continue?" Doris says.
Zauna rolls her eyes as she finishes picking the lock on the trunk and pulls out a ruby necklace.

Back on dry land, Zauna turns to the boys.

"I'll take you back home, lads. But we're going to take the scenic route. There are a couple of haunted ruins, infested mines and goblin tribes I want to show you. Is that okay with you both?"
"I'm so happy to be going back to our family home!" Boris says.
"Is it safe to continue?" Doris says.

Zauna fights down the urge to cast another fireball.

Oblivion Lesson of the Day

Although being on horseback when falling down a mountain may prevent you from taking damage, it tends to have a terminal effect on the horse.

Oblivion Lesson of the Day

Do not mix up the spells Firebolt with Emperor's Voice. Especially if you then cast it at the local Count.

Oblivion Lesson of the Day

A bow is not much good to you in a fight if you left the arrows in the chest back at home.

Oblivion

I've found that Oblivion has taken me right back to my days at Uni and the role playing games I used to take part in. Apart from a short Star Wars and Shadowrun, all were medieval fantasy settings (easier to cope with) although through various gaming systems (WHFRP, AF&F, plus one other really great system). The free-form aspects of deciding as a group what to do next, with a couple of great GMs to run things, were what made the games memorable. We weren't committed to "dungeon of the week" (although that was occasionally what we would do) and despite really throwing the GM a curve ball on what he thought we might be doing (and what he ha prepared!) we managed along well. Our various characters developed, grew old and in some cases died. Marcus, for instance, never did find the tattooed man that killed his father, but he did get close once or twice.

Musings aside, one of the reasons that I have never really gotten into RPG on computers is that they are so linear. Take Zelda, for instance. It's quite clear that you have to go into the first dungeon. You find one route through, and a boss at the end. Killing the boss gives you a juicy piece of kit that gives you access to a new area. And so on. Even games like Riven, the only ones I have really played, are linear really even if they don't always seem to be.

As I've said previously, I only ended up with Oblivion because a couple of store staff said it was the best of the games on offer with the console.

Once I realised that the game was free form and it really didn't matter in what order you do things (or even, ignoring the main quest completely, as I have so far done) I was right back to the those early days at Uni. I, or rather, Zauna the Imperial, can wander around to her hearts content. She can follow up that lead about the Forlorn Watchman and see what that is all about. She could case the weapons store in Bravil to see if it is worth breaking in later that night. Perhaps she might go and visit the ruins to the north of the town that she past whilst escaping from the City Watch last night. In fact, if that highwayman is still around, she could try and recover the money he stole from her.

She is a bit of a klutz, sometimes (after killing the first mate that attacked her without warning, Zauna stepped back and fell off the quayside. By the time she found a way back out of the water, there were two additional bodies alongside the mate that were nothing to do with her)

She's not always too bright (after using a sheep for target practice with the newly aquired bow, she didn't know that recovering the arrows would be considered illegal, or that there was a guard watching her - which led to the rather embarrassing "getting fined, arrested and locked up for doing something illegal with a dead sheep" episode).

However she is a dab-hand at putting together healing potions for sale, and has helped several people around the Empire even if only on the "my house was repossessed, is there anything you can do" variety, not the "save the Empire!" kind - although that comes later!

I've only been playing for 24 hours real-time, or several weeks game-time, and already Zauna is taking on her own personality. Sure, it's a result of my style of play (or lack thereof), but the class options she made (Knight) and star sign (Warrior) are influencing that.

Back to Zauna...I'm able to choose my own objectives, and work towards them. At the moment, I've decided to buy some real estate, so am working my way towards getting a house in the Waterfront. It's small; it's falling apart, sure. But it means I won't have to keep sneaking into those two empty houses where I know the owners are dead (and only one of those was directly my fault - he attacked me first!). I was going to continue further with the Fighters Guild, but I'm having more fun at the moment working my way up the Thieves Guild hierarchy. And there is still that ruin I spotted last night...but not before I return to the Stranger to get my forged letter to sort out that darned watchman, Lex.

Part of the fun I have found is in getting completely sidetracked by something that looks or sounds more interesting.

And like I said earlier, Zauna's character is developing, even giving me some ideas about her history, including why she was locked up in that cell in the first place...