It's a Lego Advent-ure: Epilogue

BAMPF!

OK, how did I get here?

Good question...I'm not sure myself.  Anyway, no more nonsense, just a message to wish everyone daft enough to read to the end of the Lego Advent-ure a merry Christmas and best wishes for 2015.

PS All the models came out of the Lego CITY Advent calendar 2015 on the day it was shown. I had no idea what was going to appear on any given day.  Only the ponies were added from my own collection.

Steve/Wily/Indy

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 24

BMAPF!

"Ho! ho! ho!" laughed Santa as he arrived.

"Aren't you a little early?" asked Captain George, "NORAD has you somewhere west of Australia at the moment."

"I took a detour to get here on time" replied Santa.  "Who wants a cookie?"

"WE DO!" cried George and George.

"We had PONIES and MOTORBIKE and COOKIES" said George.  "Bestestest Christmas ever!"

Everyone laughed.

"Merry Christmas everyone!" the Lego Adventurers said together.

The End.

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 23

BAMPF!

"What is it this time?" George asked in a bored voice.

"Nothing you will be interested in" replied George.  "Not at all."

"HOT DAMN!!!" George yelled.

"Dibs on first ride!"

"We shall call it....BEAKY!"

"That's a stupid name for this bike.  It has no beak."

"It's that, or we call it George."

"Beaky it is then."

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 22

"I think the only thing missing now would be tree to put the gifts under" said Officer George.

SPROING!

"Sproing?" said Batwoman.

"Yup.  Sproing." George replied, looking that the pretty little Christmas tree that had sproinged up from under the floor.

"Makes a change from Bampf."

"Don't you have a plane to catch?" George asked Captain George.

"You must be thinking of someone else" Captain George replied.

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 21

BAMPF!

"Erm...presents.  Presents are good." said Captain George.

"Yes, sir, but just how bloody big are these socks?" wondered Officer George.

"It's Christmas.  Socks weren't exactly unexpected!"

"Good point..."

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 20

"Incoming!" George yelled.

BAMPF!

"Okaaaaaay.  Shovels. We appear to have shovels."

"What are we going to use those for?"

"Neigh?"  suggested Pony #3.

"How about we shovel the snow instead?" 

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 19

BAMPF!

"What the heck?" Captain George yelled in surprise as the dinner table appeared from nowhere.

"Don't ask.  This has been happening all month" George told him.  "Just go with it."

"Bon appetite!"

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 18

"Evenin' All" said the Police Captain.

"Let me guess.  Captain George, I presume" Pardon Brown greeted the newest arrival

"Er....yes, how did you know?"

"Lucky guess"

"Apparently I bring a mug and handcuffs," said the Captain.

"Hello!"  said Batwoman.

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 17

"And a trailer for hauling useless stuff" said George after the next Bampf.

"Who are you calling useless?" asked Parson Brown.

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 16

BAMPF!

"Yay! Toys for the adults, too!"  said Batwoman as the snowmobile appeared in front of their eyes.

"Anyone would think it was Christmas."

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 15

"Arf!" barked the dog as he chased after the kids.

"A puppy!" George yelled.  "I shall call you George!"

"Seriously?" asked George.  "Another George?"

"Why not?  It makes keeping track of all the names a hole lot easier."

"Yes, but not for us."

"Whatever."

"By the way, *you* have to clean up after the mutt."

"Arf!"

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 14

BAMPF!

"Yay! That's more like it - toys!" cried George.

"Faster, dammit, faster!"

Werehouse?

Dungeons and Dragons Shenanigans

After an encounter with a Were-Rat, the party investigated a warehouse to find out more (a story for another day).

 This prompted the suggestion for a werehouse...

 Werehouse (rare creature):

A human with the ability (curse?) to turn into a large storage facility at the full-moon. When transformed into the werehouse form, the creature has 5,000 hit points and AC20.

It is unable to cast spells, talk or use objects in this form. If reduced to 0 hit points, the werehouse reverts back into it's human form.

More powerful werehouses have the ability to switch forms at will, providing storage space for others of the tribe. Werehouses are often found in large cities, especially those with large amounds of trade, where they are less likely to be noticed during the full moon.

It is not known how many werehouses there are in Waterdeep, but watchmen are advised to report any large building they see that they believe was not there the day before.

It's a Lego Adventu-ure: Day 13

Meanwhile, whilst everyone else was busy eating, drinking and testin out the new toys...

The miscreant crept in through the window and started searching for something...

Hidden in the box of food, he found the Jewel of Shiny.

"Mine!" he said.

Idiot burglar...everyone heard him.

"After him!" Officer George cried,

"Our legs are too little to keep up" George said.
"I have an idea - to the po....I mean, little horses" George sugegsted.

"He's heading for the frozen lake...we have him now!"

"Ha!" the burglar said as he strapped on ice skates and took off across the ice.

"I've got this" said Batshitcrazy George AKA Batwomen.

 

THWIP!

WAHACK!

"Ow!"

"You're nicked, sport" Officer George told the burlgar when he came around.

"I'm sorry!" the Burglar said, "I only stole to pay my debt from betting on the ponies"

BAMPF!

"What the Fu---?" the Burglar said as the pony appeared behind him.

"Yeah...please don't use that word, we're running out of carrots." Officer George told him.

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 12

BAMPF!

"What is it this time?" George asked without even looking up from fixing the thawing Parson Brown.

"A radio controlled duck", George informed him.  "And no, I don't know why.  But it's pretty cool."

Meanwhile, Batwoman and Officer George were hitting on each other over a cup of coffee.

"I wonder what will happen tomorrow"

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 11

"I'm Officer George, and you lot are under arrest," the Police officer said as he came over to investigate who had fired the catapult at him.

"On what charge?" asked Batwoman.

"Assault on a police officer, beheading snowmen, loitering, loitering with intent, littering, rustling horses, street vending without a licence, destruction of property, theft and ... murder!"

"Murder?!  What do you mean murder?!" cried George.

"I only added that to get your attention" replied Officer George.  "Of course, since it is the Christmas season and because of randomness, I'm willing to drop the charges if you help me sing a carol."

"Seriously?" said George.
"Shuddupgeorge" hushed George as shse nudged him into silence.  "We'll do it!"

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 10

BAMPF!

"New toy!" yelled George excitedly, and ran over to the catapult.

"Does no-one wonder where this random crap is coming from?" asked Batwoman?

"Free loot.  Why worry?" replied George.

Parson Brown examined the catapult with George.  "What are you going to put in there?" he asked.

George gave Parson Brown a speculative look.  "I have an idea.  Come here."

"Aw hell no" Parson Brown cried.

SPRAAAAAAANG!

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

CRASH!

"Oops."

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 9

BAMPF!

George sighed and turned around to look at the item that had just appeared.  "What the hell is that?" he asked.

"Looks like half a cart and a baguette." George suggested.

"I can see that, but what use is half a cart?"

"Maybe *that* part attaches to the pony?"

BAMPF!

"Another bloody pony."

BAMPF!

Batwoman looked around. "Are these appearing every time you say pon----"

"NO!!!!" everyone else screamed at her before she could finish.

"No more more of the word for small equine creature that starts with a letter P," George begged her.

Everyone agreed.

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 8

"Hello, I'm George", said George to the new figure skating up to the party. "What's your name?"

"I'm George, too" she replied.  

"Is everyone called George?" George asked.

"No, I'm Parson Brown" said Parson Brown.

"No, I'm Batwoman" said Batwoman.

"Batwoman?" George asked, looking at her script. "It says here "George, the bat-shit-crazy woman.  And Parson George Brown."

"So everyone here is called George? This could get confusing."

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 7

BAMPF!

George examined the latest random arrival.

"I've no idea. Really." he said.

"Looks like a window frame and a drinks shelf" suggested Batwoman.

"Yup. I wonder what will happen next. The plot has kind of stalled here." added Parson Brown.

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 6

BAMPF!   A box of vegetables appeared.

"OK, that's a strange twist." George said.

"Usually it's stuck on weird people or random creatures."

"Who are you calling weird?" asked Parson Brown.

"Who are you calling random?" growled Batwoman.

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 5

BAMPF! 

Batwoman appeared in a flash of light next to our party of Advent-urers. 

"Batwoman? Really?" asked George his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Crap...wrong outfit. I knew I shouldn't have left in such a rush this morning. Look, I'm Batwoman. I have a batarang!" Batwoman replied, waving the batarang in her hand.

"That's a croissant, you lunatic!" George pointed out.

"Shut up and drink your coffee." Batwoman replied angrily.

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 4

"Yay!" George exclaimed "Hot drinks and pie. Just what I needed."

"Um...I think I'll skip the hot drinks", Parson Brown replied "They go right through me."

"Are you are real parson?" asked George.

 "Are you a real boy?" responded Parson Brown.

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 3

BAMPF!

George turned to the new arrival.

"Who or what are you?" George asked the stranger.

"I'm a snowman, doofus. What do I look like I?" replied Parson Brown.

 "A pile of snow wearing a hat that has been run-through by a stake. Are you sure you aren't a vampire? If you sparkle I'll melt you."

 "Er....no. Just a regular snowman. Honest.. No sparkles here".

 

It's a Lego Advent: Day 2 part 2

BAMPF!

 "Oh come on," cried George, "This is going to get silly if this keeps happening. Seriously, did someone have a deal on ponies this week?"

 "Neigh?" replied the pony, who then ran off.

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 2

BAMPF!

Suddenly, from nowhere, a post box appeared beside our little hero.

"Holyshit!" exclaimed George. "A couple of feet over and that would have landed on me". 

As he mailed his letter to Santa, George wondered if he had made the post box appear just by wishing it. "I wish I had a pony!" he thought.

It's a Lego Advent-ure: Day 1

George had written his letter to Santa and was wondering what to do with it next. "If only I had a post box!" he thought, "but there is nothing here but paths and snow. And strange flat lamp posts."

A Beaky Halloween Story

I had forgotten to tell this story from one of my trips into the mountains last year.

I’d gone south for a weekend late in October hoping to visit a few more mountain passes before the weather turned too cold.  Unfortunately my timing was poor and I’d picked a day that I really wish I’d stayed I bed.

The day was not going well.  Beaky and I had spent the day getting wet in a cold drizzle that had gotten worse the higher we went.  With the usual mud and gravel around, plus the rain, I’d been taking things  a lot more carefully than I usually do, and it was getting well into the evening as I headed west toward the hostel I’d booked.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time – a little place in the middle of nowhere, miles from any village.  Normally it was only opened in summer but I had been lucky enough to book myself a room late in the season just before the owners closed for the winter.

Now I was beginning to regret my decision.  Not only was the weather pretty grim, but it was starting to get dark. Then, as I went higher, fog.  Well, cloud to be technically correct.  There is nothing quite as disconcerting as riding in thick fog or cloud – being able to see no more than twenty meters or so needs a huge amount of concentration – the corners really appear quickly even though I was crawling along at little more than walking pave.  Add in the knowledge that on the right side of the road was a sheer drop – I have no idea how far down, the occasionally tree top I could see if I glanced that way implied it was far enough that I really did not want to find out the hard way.

I hadn't seen another vehicle in over an hour – not unusual on the mountain roads in this area. Normally during the day I might see the occasional ancient white Peugeot van, the standard farm transport around France, or a 4x4 of some sort.  Even the occasional GS.  But not tonight it seemed.  I would have been grateful for a pair of lights to follow – indeed, had someone come the other way I would have likely turned to follow them just for the safety in numbers.

That was the moment it happened – a second of lapsed concentration, another corner looming from the pea soup and a patch of mud at just the point where I braked.

The ABS kicked in as the back end hit the mud but it wasn't enough to stop the back sliding sideways, and down we went.  I hit the foresight to hit the kill switch as I tried to lower Beaky onto her side without getting my leg caught.  Luckily the crash bars did their job – I managed to scramble off and pull my leg out without any problem.  No damage done to me at least. Beaky didn't look too badly off, either.

The GS is heavy.  A loaded GS is very heavy.  I ended up taking the roll bag and one pannier off to lighten the load, and managed to haul Beaky back upright and onto the stand.

Handlebars straight…levers unbroken…mirrors okay…pedals okay…slight scratch on pannier and crash bars as expected.  SatNav...missing? It wasn't in the cradle and must have been knocked off.  I couldn't see it anywhere. Well, I knew where the hostel was, and could come back in daylight to find it.

Looks like we got away lightly, Beaky.

Only we didn't.  Turned the key to turn the ignition on.dashboard lit, lights on...press starter and...nothing.  Try again, as obviously that will make all the difference.  Still nothing.  Shit. Wait!  The kill switch!  Nope.  Still nothing.

Crap.

I pulled my torch out of the pannier (I knew it would be useful one day) and tried to see what the problem was.

Nothing obviously disconnected that I could see,

I was starting to get cold.  It wasn't that cold on the mountain, and I was wearing the Goretex jacket and trousers but coupled with wet hands and the stress of the situation I wasn't feeling so great.

I wasn't sure what to do. I knew the bed and breakfast was further down this road, but I wan't sure how much farther it was.  I knew i hadn't passed anywhere for several miles, so onward would be the best bet.  At least I could get warm, then worry about sorting out the bike the next day.

Then, thorugh the fog, I heard the sound of an engine in the distance.  Something was coming up the road I'd travelled.  As it neared, I could tell it was a motorbike.  In the gloom a speck of light appeared, then disappeared as it rounded a bend.  Then reappeared, brighter, the engine getting louder. The light resolved into an grey shape then into a motorbike.  The motorcyclist stops, obviously having seen the lights, but also to my waving him down.

At least I'm geared for the weather - the elderly chap on the bike is wearing an open face helmet, tweed jacket and trousers.  No gloves. He must be freezing.

"Bonsoir!  Que faites-vous ici?  Vous avez un problème avec votre moto?"

Well, I understood "moto" and "problème".  Deep breath.  I can do this.
"Oui...j'ai une petite problème...les electroniques...pouvez-vous me aider se il vous plaît?"

"You are English?", he replies. "I know some English."

Thank feck for that.

He jumps off his bike, and I explain what happened whilst he's poking around Beaky.

"Pas problème.  I fix" and with no further ado he goes back to his bike, unstraps a tool roll and pulls out a screwdriver and pliers.  As he sets to work, I take another look at his bike.  BMW roundel...boxer engine...beak...but...old.  Then it clicks. I've seen one before."She's an R80GS, yes?"  And get a quick nod.

The original BMW GS from the early 1980s.  And she's immaculate.   I don't mean clean, given the weather, but for a 30-odd year old bike in pretty sharp shape.  I had only seen one at the GS trophy event that summer - and that one essentially a museum piece as it was the first GS off the line.

"I have had her from new" the chap says, still working away.  "Rode her here from factory in Germany.  Well, via Dakar".  He went on to tell me some of his travels, and I related where I was heading before the accident.  "I know Madame Emmanuelle.  Not far from here.  You are almost there".

He was just getting to an anecdote about a similar breakdown he'd had in south Africa when he tried the started again and Beaky roared into life.

"Merci!  Merci!" I managed, unbelievably grateful.

He pulled his helmet on and said "Follow me, I take you to chambre d'hote"

I didn't need any further encouragement.  Strapping the bag back onto Beaky, I pull on my own helmet and gloves, and off we went.

Following someone, even a tail light, was so much easier than threading my way alone.

15 minutes later, I see a light ahead.  As we get nearer, I see it's a house...and hope it's the hostel I'm aiming for.  It must be, I think, I remember from the map there wasn't much else out here.

It is...Chez Emmanuelle is painted on the side of the house.  The light above the door is lit, and I can see light behind one of the shutters.

The chap gives a smile, a wave, and rides off, much to my surprise - I would have thought he would come in and say hello at least, or stay for a coffee as he evidently knew the owner of the place.  Maybe he just had to get on home, I surmised.

The front door opens as I take my helmet off and peel off the soggy gloves.  A face, Madame Emmanuelle (I assume) looks out.  "Monsieur 'Allett?" she asks as though I could be anyone else at this time of night.

"Bonsoir, madame, oui, je suis Hallett", I croak back.

"Entrez, entrez!

I didn't need to be asked twice.  I grabbed my bag and entered the hostel.  The door opened into a large dining room with a bar at one end.  The place was empty, but was lit, and warmed by, a roaring fire at the far end. Light flickered off the oak beams,

 "Café?", she asked me as she gestured me toward the fire.  I nodded, and as bid made my way to the other end of the room, peeling off my soaked jacket, boots and over-trousers.

I perched down on the bench seat closest to the fire, and sighed as the stress of the evening began to bleed off.

Mdm. Emmanuelle returned with the coffee.

"I am glad you have arrived, I was worried you were lost", she said.
"I almost was", I replied, and started to explain why I was so late.

As we talked, I looked around the room again, and saw the walls were covered in photographs.  I stood to take a closer look at them.  Various photos of the building over the years, many in black and white.

"You were lucky you were able to fix your bike"
"Oh, I had some help.  That other motorcyclist who was with me stopped and helped"

Some newer aerial shots showing how the little refuge was hidden in a deep valley.  Lots of photos of the visitors over the years.

"Other motorcyclist?"
"Yes, he stopped and fixed my bike, then led me here."
"Oh?  i didn't see him"
"No, he didn't wait.  I guess he lives near here - he knew you"

Emmanuelle gave me a funny look.  "No other houses around here"

I was about to explain she must be mistaken when one photo caught my eye.  Well, photos of motorbikes do.

Hah!  One of a familiar GS and old chap outside the front door, this time in summer. No wonder the old chap knew Emmanuelle, he must be a local after all.

"Him! That was the chap that helped me"  I pointed.

"Ce n'est possible"

"Oui, oui, it was him.  What is his name?".
"Jean-Marie. He used to live here when he wasn't travelling around the world on that bike.  He was always fixing things."
"He still is!  He must still live nearby, to have been passing tonight."
"Oh, no.  He doesn't live here any more.  He died twenty years ago, in an accident just up the road. It was a night just like this - they say he lost control on a patch of mud and went over the side."

Despite the fire, I suddenly felt a chill...

Idiot George

Yesterday George the Roomba decided to again test the theory that computer USB cables need vacuuming up*   He managed to unplug them and make it halfway across the room before they jammed his drive wheels, where I eventually found him that night.

I placed him on the kitchen counter after untangling him as I needed to clean him, but didn't get around to it.

Cut to this evening.

I enter my apartment thinking "I left George right-side-up.  I know he has sensors that stop him from falling off things, so I hope he isn't stupid enough to nose dive off the worktop".

No, he isn't that stupid.

He is, however, exactly stupid enough to decide the worktop needed vacuuming.

Luckily the only casualty was one glass, but even so they tend to spread nicely when dropped onto ceramic tiles.

It didn't take too long to sweep up the broken glass.

George is currently upside-down on the worktop awaiting cleaning.





*hint: they don't.

Seriously? Of course I'm taking the game seriously...

I've been sucked into MechWarrior Online, the latest incarnation of the board game I originally played at school.  Several Mechs that I remember are around, including the Catapult.

The game has a fairly steep learning curve, especially with the mryiad of options available to customise the 'mechs. 

Still, it's been a blast, and I'm finally getting to grips with the Shadowhawk and Catapult mechs.

A friend of mine also plays, and we've had a few team matches together, some of which resulted in some hilarity, admittedly only if you know the game. 

These conversations are pretty much as I remember them...

[indylead] I need to remember that the right mouse button is fire group 2, and not zoom.

[indylead] Lat game, the chap in front of me at the start of the game wasn't very happy that I shot him in the back.

[helpful friend] Well, no need to worry, the missiles on the Cat won’t arm before 170m so they won’t do any damage.

[indylead] I wasn't in the Catapult, I was in the Nova at the time.

[helpful friend] Upgrade the engine to a (insert technical term for something shiny here)

[indylead] OK, I found one of those

[indylead] I’m getting a Critical Slot Error.  Can I get a cream for that?

[helpful friend] Check what you have in the Torso mount

…time passes...

[indylead] Oh. I see what I did.

[indylead] Apparently you have to take out the old engine before installing the new one.

[indylead] I wondered why I had two exhaust pipes.

[helpful friend] Good thing I died first, I was able to watch you during the match.

[helpful friend] Your LRM seemed to have trouble targeting at the end.

[indylead] Yes, I think the arm with the targeting computer fell off.

[helpful friend] You have to keep the crosshairs on the target until you get a lock.

[indylead] I do?

[indylead] Where the hell did everyone go.  Map is empty.

[helpful lance mate] Use B to view the map full size.

[indylead] Oh, I thought we just had the little map.

…a few seconds later...

[helpful lance mate] You're dead already?  What happened?

[indylead] I should have stopped moving, *then* open the map.  I fell off the bridge.

[angry other gamer as team loses] Do you lot even know how to play?

[indylead] I’m running in small circles trying to get out of the steel rain and ran into a wall.  Do I look like I know how to play?

See you drop side.

With Great Responsibility Comes....cookies?

I've been asked by a couple of friends that they would appreciate my helping their new baby to learn English.

Since I obviously take great honor being tasked such a position of responsibility I felt it necessary to plan ahead for his first lesson next month (he's only a few weeks old, but hey, why not start early?)

So I have started to compile a list of phrases I feel he should know:

"Cookies"

"I didn't do it!"

"Dad said I could do it"

"Of course I carried out a risk assessment"

"Why thank you, I'll have a Jack Daniels"

"Cure me you idiot"

"Did you try switching it off and back on again"

I'm sure I'll think of others.

A Beaky Adventure - Valle de Bujaruelo

I went on a camping trip last weekend, despite the weather forecast promising thunderstorms and the last three camping trips all ending up with storms overnight.

There was an area on the Spanish side of the Pyrenees I wanted to explore that included several cols (passes) and a road sign (really) that I wanted to find.

Saturday's ride down was fine and went without a hitch.

Narrow road. Double Bends.  16km.  Let's Go!

Weird blue lake. 

Stripey mountain.

The camp site is a couple of miles off the surfaced road up a dirt track - not a problem for the GS!

Once I arrived at the Valle de Bujaruelo I checked in at the camp site and set up Camp Beaky.

Camp Beaky ready!

View from Camp Beaky down the valley.

 After setting up, I carried on up the track for a couple more miles to the bridge of San Nicolas de Bujaruelo.

Bridge of San Nicolas de Bujaruelo

Someone always manages to end up in shot.

That evening I had dinner at the campsite's restaurant before heading to bed.  There was no thunderstorm as promised, but a combination of the river's noise, and lunatic owl that kept hooting meant it wasn't the best night's sleep ever. Breakfast was very welcome next morning!

Breakfast at Camp Beaky.

After breakfast, I broke camp and hit the road again.

On the road from the camp.

Small church in the middle of nowhere.

Another cool road sign!

I reached home without incident, although a little rain on the way back dampened the spirits a little. Still, I had a great weekend - 800 miles, and several more cols ticked off the list!